Fail

Today I did my regular routine with tennis, driving home, and working out. I was doing great, until I found myself being so hungry I almost fainted. My mom started panicking and pulled into the Boston Market and bought some food and force fed it down. I felt like i needed to barf after that. I went into the bathroom and tried purging, but my gag reflexes are scarce. It fucking sucks. After failing miserably, I tried working some of it off with jump-roping, who knows how much i gained. I just hope that I don't almost anything the rest of the night. And all I know is that I have a goal, and i better meet it.

You wanna look like this?  Then suck it up.

Apple Crisp

Today, I woke up thinking "todays a new day, lets starve." Instead, I walked downstairs to a cinnimon bagel calling for me on my plate. My mom said "eat, tennis is going to be intense today." Failingly, I fucking ate it. I worked my heart out at tennis for two hours and then got a ride home. That family was a little on the bigger side, so they decided to stop at Dunkin Donuts. Fuck. They all got donuts and insisted that I get something, I got a flat bread sandwich and chowd it down thinking I could just throw it up later. Never happend. They dropped me off and I told myself that I had to work it all off. "theres no way i'm letting that fast food junk sit in my stomach for the day." I'm now at the YMCA and i just ran 2 miles and did my normal weight rutine. I feel great, and I thought to myself that while my motabolism was skyrocketting, why not eat an engerybar to keep me on the healthy, vitamin side. I'll try and eat only tiny bits of food until tomarow, but for now im munching on a 70 calorie Apple Crisp bar.



Thinsparation for the day.
IDOLIZE IT.

A fresh start

The only real reason I started this blog was because I need somewhere safe to spill my problems/thoughts about myself and my eating "problems." At my Nike Tennis Camp I finally realized how fat I am. To my conclusion, I'm going to restrict my eating, and loose 15 pounds before Thanksgiving. At camp, I didn't eat or drink for 3 days and was very proud, until the counselors figured this out and I woke up on my dorm room with my friends not knowing where I was. This might be a long and frightful journey, but I'm all for it. I'm going to post here everyday with my accomplishments/downfalls and keep a food diary.

anyways,

WHAT YOU WANT.

THATS REAL FOOD.