i watched the Thin documentary today it was sooo good. i dont know if i will ever get better because none of those girls did. as soon as they all left, they all slipped into old habits again; purging, restricting, and fasting. so i have to accept who i am, and i got anorexia. i just have to deal with it.
i didnt get to exercise today, and i dont have tennis tomorrow. so il have to work a lot of it off. ive been burning around 600 for an hour on the eliptical. tomorrow im shooting for 1000. all i want is to get skinny. thats all i ask for. and the only way i really can is to.not.eat. once i reach my half goal weight - 10 pounds so 110. im buying new clothes ebcause duhhh they wont fit anymore.
personally i dont like throwing up. but i did a few days ago. i think about it a lot now and im wondering if im going to start to purge regurlarly. im not sure if i want to or not, but everytime i try and make myself throw up, litterally like nothing comes out and my whole hand is down my throat. i dont know how to get it all out. its kinda grose, but does anyone have any tips? please help meeeeeeeee :(
ugh, tips. they are horrible. I'll text you some purging tips later, but to tell you the truth I always gain when I purge. And my hands are all scarred up from it.
ReplyDeletethe thin documentary was awesome!!
wanna fast with me tomorrow? I'm hanging out with haley and we're definitely fasting.
Hello, :)
ReplyDeleteI've been throwing up (I hate the word purging, hah) for about two years now. It comes up naturally for me now, but persistance is key. I know it hurts and and nothing may come up, but you have to keep your hand there. Maybe try different fingers (I used three) And like, you kinda have to push with your stomach too. But let me tell you, if you don't want to do it regularly don't start! I get up anything and everything I eat now, it sucks. :/
But I'd do anything to keep off the pounds.
I hope this helped. :)
oh my god that helped a lot, hahah and yes allysssssaaa i want to fast with you tomorrow. and i wont let myself down this timeeee. thanks emm!
ReplyDeleteI see what you mean, I don't like throwing up either... But I tried some months ago and then stopped after 3 times, it's too hard, I'd rather stay strong and eat nothing than eat and then be afraid of not being able to throw it up ... too much stress that's not for me, or maybe just on rare times when I'm being forced to eat ><
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