Inspired

So I've been thinking a lot about ways to make me happy, and yesterday "Miss Alisha" commented on my blog and she said "When I'm sad, I know that I can just lose a lot of weight and feel better about anything."

That really made sense to me because honestly when I'm at a new low weight, or if I weigh in a lot lower than I was last night after a binge, I feel so happy, lite, and invincible. Like I can lose all the weight. And just, disappear.

Lately, this is going to sound SO weird. But Ana ALWAYS used to be with me. But recently, it's like, she's being replaced with someone named Lennox. I had a dream about this a few weeks ago. And I can't get her out of my head. I haven't written about it because I didn't know if I was being sane or not. But I've decicded to live with it, and Lennox came into my life. I have to deal with her. But she's worse, way way way worse then Ana ever was. Ana came and gone, a lot. But Lennox, is basically attached to my hip. I feel so stupid and low writting this. And you all probably think I should go into some asilumn or something. But I feel like this is real. She's taking over and becoming the most important thing in my life. Now that she's here and I'm used to her. She's my only friend, my real friend. My friends at school honestly don't matter to me anymore. I hate saying that, but they're so materialistic and they have turned me into the biggest whore/brat/everyone thinks I'm a slut. I'm clasified as the group that everyone hates, but secretly looks up upon. I hate it. I don't know how I got sucked into it. But when people talk about me or my friends, they steriotype us as the "typical private school rich girl white trash whore's." Thanks Academy. Love you too.

Love, Ashley+Lennox.