Blog Anniversary and Who I am.

It's officially been one whole year that I've had this blog and not totally ditched it. I mean, once or twice I may have gone a few weeks without writing. But still. I can not thank you ladies/guys/supporters/anyone who has commented or shared advise with me. I truly admire you and you are all my biggest inspirations.

On another note, I got tumblr last night. I LOVE IT. You ladies should all get one! Follow me or comment this blog if you have one!

http://believein0.tumblr.com/

^^ That's me!

Also, I decided to put somethings about me on here. I feel like I've sorta been living a lie about myself this whole long, stressful, fat year.

This, is me. Try not to gag at my double chin or my huge arms in this picture. It was taken by my sister at my cousins wedding this past July.


Under this exterior fat and hideousness, is a truly happy girl. But she's being killed and suffocated each day by this Anorexia. I hate my disease but I've realized that I'm stuck with it, so hell, why not support it anyways?! Make myself useful...

I just turned fifteen and I'm from New York. I've been on the Varsity Girls Tennis team since I was in the 7th grade and that's really my only success that I'm proud of. Honestly there's not much too me, so I don't really know what to say.

When I was in the 6th grade my sister, Sarah, developed Anorexia. She thought it would be easier to get through it if I 'joined her in losing just a 'few' pounds.' She was wrong and I ended up never getting better, after 7 months(we were put in the hospital at the same time for the same amount of months) in the hospital she fully recovered and til this day she still is. She just turned twenty and is living her life. I wish I could be strong like her. But that will never happen. My dad is a professor at Columbia University and he also is the president of this environmental water engineering firm in NYC and stays there all week long. He, along with my mom, also travel all around the world to help design water treatment plants for various countries. Sometimes they're nice enough so pull me out of school for a week or two. I hate it. A lot of times though, I get home after school and there's a note on the fridge saying, "In Spain, be back in 2 weeks, stay at neighbors. Love you, mom." And they don't even tell me they're leaving! A lot of times when I have to miss school for lectures or business dinners, people get jealous and think I just go to all these amazing, beautiful places and they don't know that I have to sit through 4 hours watching someone talk about water and then have my dad force me to discuss it with the professor after. It.Is.Not.Fun. But all the stress and with my dad wanting me to look "beautiful all the time, just please, lose like 2 pounds." Doesn't get that he started all this anorexia. And when my tennis camp took me to the hospital and they told my parents that I was anorexic again, he went full circle to when it all started "What? There's no way she's anorexic? I mean, look at her." And then he gets mad at me because I "cant just eat." He just doesn't understand and he never will. And he puts me in this 60,000$ school and expects me to get STRAIGHT As but there's no way I can if I'm constantly being pulled out of school.

This is me.