This is really obnoxious and long.
Sosososooo I lost a LOT. Like WOW people on the tennis courts actually said ew, she's so thin. NOT that it made me want to stop losing, psh, please, it made me want to starve like i've never starved before. So I have been at camp for two weeks so far. Nike Tennis Camp. It's amazing, and my second year, and I met a boy and we hooked up behind the doorm building, weve done it like I don't even know how many times so far. Ahhh he's amazing. His name is Jay Rodman<3 UGH but I'm never going to see him like after this, so hopefully it'll end well this week. I mean I've been with him for three already?
ANYWAYS. Last Wednesday, a week past from today. I fainted on the tennis courts and I hit my head on the water fountain on the way down. I don't remember any of this, but here's what the counselors told me:
I was walking off of the courts, and I was tied up with this kid 6-6 and we were about to do a tie breaker. While walking off, one of the counselors was walking over to ask me how it was going and what the score was so far because she was on a different court, and I fainted and hit the metal water fountain. I woke up, but I fell into a coma about 45 minutes later and the rushed me to the hospital. But before I was back into a coma, I was screaming and pulling my hair and saying that my head felt like it was on fire. So two counselors from the camp took me to the UMASS medical clinic, and thats when I fell into a coma, and then I woke up in the ER about four hours later. It's scary because I don't remember any of this, but I guess I was crying hysterically every time they did a test, or checked for vitals because something in me knew that I was going to get caught. They called my parents and said that I was severely dehydrated and malnourished. Fuck. I'm going back to my hospital when I get home from CA in the end of August. Wish me luck, I'm so scared but I don't know how to tell anyone that I CAN do this.
Oh crap. Getting caught. That's the worst. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I hope things go okay when you get home!
ReplyDelete:( i didn't read this blog but i remember you telling me about all this, i'll probably read it later when i have more time. I'm so sorry that all of this has happened but at least you made a new friend out of it all! For some reason I feel like it was my fault that this happened. I know thta it wasn't at all, but i feel like i somehow pushed you. Idk. I'm dumb. I love you (in a friend way, not a gross lesbo way) and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't talk to you everyday! You're the only one I have to talk to about my ana life and I'll always be here for you!
ReplyDeleteAnd in reply to your comment on my blog, I don't really know whats been bothering me. It's weird, I have this crazy manic depression and the slightest things can set it off... It's genetic.